I love the English language. I always read English books, especially British English, of course. Right now, I’m devouring the Glass & Steele series, which is set in old London between 1880 and 1915. Sometimes my days are so chaotic that I can’t wait to crawl back into bed with my book and disappear into the London of the previous century, where people still talked about “moving pictures.” Suddenly, I understand where the word movie comes from: it’s short for moving pictures. There are other words like that, too, that sometimes make me chuckle.
The chaos has been terrible these past few months, perhaps even the past year. Recovering from my own car accident, the death of my father, my mother needing a lot of care, my partner’s accident… and then, unexpectedly, my daughter’s partner walked out the door in the most aggressive way imaginable. Wihtout any explanation. Even though she had always helped him, he’s now deliberately trying to crush her. No one saw it coming. It’s awful to see my daughter suffer like this and not be able to take away her pain with just a kiss on the painful spot.
I do it all with love, of course, being there for everyone, but at the end of the day, I sometimes feel completely drained. Not to mention, that at the end of the day, then I still have to do my work. The past few evenings, however, I had a little more time for myself. Clients still hadn’t sent feedback on the work I’d done, my daughter had her dearest friend staying over for support, and my partner was busy with doctor’s appointments. And so, suddenly, I had some evenings to myself. I’d been thinking about a new book idea for months but simply hadn’t had the time to start. Until now. Despite the heatwave, I made myself a cup of tea, sat down with my laptop, and began to type. The book flowed from my fingers as if it were writing itself. I felt something bubbling up that I hadn’t felt in a long time, one could say in a poetic way it felt like a sparkling glimmer of happiness. And then I realized all over again how much I love writing stories. I could already picture the illustrations in my mind.
While I’m typing away the English proverb comes to mind: “When things fall apart, they are actually falling into place.” These days are certainly hard for my daughter, but I’m sure that when we look back, we’ll be grateful he left now and not ten years later. My partner literally fell apart after his accident, his bones must heal piece by piece, but he’s also going through a difficult time mentally and emotionally. I believe he’ll come out of this stronger, too.
And me? I know that, despite the chaos, I just have to keep writing! My new book, Alisa and the Secret Garden, will be available on Amazon as soon as it’s finished.