It's been two years already, was the first thing I thought when I woke up this morning. Two years ago, at six in the morning, in pitch darkness, I drove through the snow in Portland to the hospital downtown to get my second blood patch. I was incredibly nervous, because the first blood patch had been done without anesthesia, and I can tell you: it wasn't a pleasant procedure.
After six months of being flattened 23 hours a day because I had suffered a CSF leak in a car accident and couldn't fly home, today was supposed to be the day that changed everything.
I joke that most people buy a T-shirt as a souvenir when they're abroad, but I was hoping to come home with hospital socks.
It's quite an experience, being admitted to a hospital in America. First, you have to go through a metal detector, and your bags are searched for weapons.
But after that, I was pampered beyond measure, in my own spacious private room with a private nurse.
After the surgery, I had to lie flat for another six hours before I was allowed to go home. Whether the surgery was successful, no one could say. They injected 100 ml of my own blood into my spine, hoping that this much blood would close the hole and allow me to finally fly home.
After six hours of lying flat, the nurse helped me up.
"My head suddenly feels so light!" I exclaim enthusiastically. "Different than before the surgery." She smiles, already knowing that "different" is almost always a good sign.
My whole body aches, and for the next few days, the oxycodone made me drift between sleep and brief awakenings. After three days, I decided it was enough and stopped taking the medication. I pushed through the pain and finally took my first steps. The recovery would be a long road with ups and downs, but I'd get there in the end.
During those six months of lying flat, I couldn't lie still, of course. That's why I wrote and illustrated the children's book "Opwaarts" (Upward). I wrote this book for parents who have to explain to their children why they can't get up, because a CSF leak is often caused by an epidural injection. I also dedicated this book to my doctors, Dr. Wagner and Dr. Siker, for their endless support and for not giving up, so that I could finally travel home safely.
But with that, the story didn't end. During the past two years, I have dealt with terrible headaches caused by high pressure in my brain, brain fog, memory problems, and difficulty focusing. Even a simple walk was a huge task because I struggled to keep my balance. On top of that, I lived with constant anxiety that the blood patch might blow off.
Now, two years later, I can finally say that I am doing so much better, and I am grateful to know that this nightmare is slowly starting to become a part of the past.
The book is available on Amazon as ebook and softcover.
